Once it's gone, it's gone.

Hey Bestie,

You'll never get the exact moment you're living back again.
Once it's gone, it's gone.

I'm spending the week in the San Juans with my family, one of my favorite weeks of the whole year.

I brought my laptop and initially planned to work normal hours all week, crawling out of my room like a little goblin at dinner time and doing it all over again until it was time to go home.

But, last night, my little cousins asked if I could go with them to the lavender farm on Wednesday. Another cousin asked if I'd be able to make the lunch reservations at the Oyster bar or if they should decrease the headcount by one.

I was sitting in the same spot my grandpa used to sit in before he died when they asked and that realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Of course I'll go." I said without hesitation.

Because tomorrow is not promised, and the person who once sat in the chair I'm now sitting is is proof of that.
The person who never said no to family, who was wildly successful in his career but never lost sight of what mattered most.

I've learned that the more tightly I hold onto something, the quicker it often skitters away. The more I stress, the less I have.
The more I relax, enjoy, release, and allow, the more I receive in return.

This morning, I am returning emails, catching up on Slack messages, and giving 100% in my meetings.
This afternoon, I will close my laptop and give 100% with my family while we are still floating around on this giant rock together.

And when I look out the window on the flight back to Boise, I won't wonder what the oysters tasted like or how the lavender smelled.

When the time comes for us all to make our way home,
I won't look back on this week (or life) and wonder what I missed.

Newest Podcast Episode:

This conversation with Shai goes deep into what happens when we try to hold everything together: at work, in love, in family dynamics, and how that often leaves us burned out, resentful, and disconnected from ourselves. We talk about the illusion of control, how self-abandonment masquerades as love, and what it means to stay open-hearted without losing yourself in the process. If you’ve ever felt like the grenade-catcher of your life, or like you’re doing everything right but still not feeling enough, this one’s for you.

Listen to Full Episode